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194 UNNECESSELY LOST LIVES

September 10 is World Suicide Prevention Day.


He either sleeps all the time or doesn't sleep at all. Eats either all the time or doesn't eat barrels at all. All the exciting activities done together offer him no joy anymore. He doesn't talk to us, he doesn't go home. And while he speaks, his story is to hear jokes about suicide; but also more serious reflections on how the world would be better or life easier if it were not. And then suddenly he's gone. 

The character in this story has no age. She doesn't have sex either. Or socio-economic status. He is someone who performs almost 15 pieces for every 100,000 people in Estonia. In 2019, a total of 194 people committed suicide in Estonia. That's 194 lives lost unnecessarily. That's 194 people left behind by parents, stepchildren, children, spouses or friends. While nearly 60 people are affected by each suicide, it makes a total of 11,640 people in Estonia who had to mourn a loved one who lost a suicide. Mental health disorders, self-harm and suicide are not a problem for the "new" or "modern" generation. Estonian suicide statistics show that most suicides are committed among the elderly.

He says he can't live anymore. My soul is busy. What should I say? The truth. I have to say he's important to me. That I help him because I care about him. How can I help her? I have to ask directly. He says he can't catch it. My soul is closed again. I would like to hug him and I would like to shout and at the same time I do not understand him. 

We don't have to feel abdominal pain ourselves to believe a friend if he claims to feel it. But why do we tend to doubt when someone says they feel mentally tired? We do not need to understand another person to be able to listen, encourage and affirm. We don't need to understand another person to help find a solution. We do not need to understand another person to show kindness and kindness to him. Often, just being there is enough. It is often enough to hug, listen or even sit in silence. And it helps the most when we encourage you to seek professional help. And it helps if we stigmatize or suggest someone to sum up. Instead, we are looking at ways to see other solutions to the situation. 

When it comes to human lives, it is no longer a question of anyone's political views or decisions. Everyone has time and place to act here - to take responsibility for their words and actions. Promoting services and programs in the education and social system alone is not enough. Change must be transnational in order to have an impact. We need to start changing our attitudes, stigmas and behavior to save those who need it. Coping mechanisms can be studied at school through various programs (eg VEPA, KiVa), but we still learn and teach humanity from each other.

The stories of loved ones who lost their suicide can be read in more detail in the article published last year “Why did you do that? People who go to free death leave pain and confusion behind”. 


References:
¹https://statistika.tai.ee/pxweb/et/Andmebaas/Andmebaas__01Rahvastik__04Surmad/SD22.px/table/tableViewLayout2/
²https://statistika.tai.ee/pxweb/et/Andmebaas/Andmebaas__01Rahvastik__04Surmad/SD21.px/table/tableViewLayout2/


If you have concerns about your own or someone close to you's mental health, feel free to contact the counselors of Peaasi.ee (http://peaasi.ee/kysi-noustajalt/) or Lahendus.net (https://lahendus.net/). They offer help in case of mental health problems both by e-mail (both Peaasi.ee and solution.net) and by video call (form 'Come to counseling' from the main case page).

More help options (all available 24/7):

- It is also possible to get support from the crisis helpline 1247 with mental health concerns, as well as in the chat on the page pleaseabi.ee

- In case of mental or physical violence or suspicion thereof, it is also worth writing a chat on theabiabi.ee page or calling 116 006

- Lasteabi.ee number 116 111 and the chat on the page lasteabi.ee are also helpful in case of different kinds of worries, be it family relationships, loved ones, mental health or other aspects.